my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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