Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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