woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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