Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
