I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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