I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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