Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
