Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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