He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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