Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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