It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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