I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize