When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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