READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
