Screwed.edu
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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