did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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