porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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