Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize