he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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