found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
