Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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