So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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