what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
