I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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