I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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