Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
