As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
