i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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