Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
