My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize