I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
