it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize