Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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