and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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