Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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