Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
