there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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