you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
