So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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