his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
