I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
