Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize