I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
