oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
