Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize