Your dad touched me again.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
