So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
