Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
