Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
