I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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