I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
