Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Randomize
