Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
