how can u be prego again
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize