I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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