can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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