Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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