So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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