i don't like sucking hair
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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