I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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