that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize