This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
