Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
