Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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