Screwed.edu
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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