Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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