What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
