wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
