dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm sobbing to NWA
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
