why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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