I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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