1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
two words...techno handjob
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Someone came in the potted fern
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
