Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
