Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
