Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
