was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize