uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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