Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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