See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i believe in u and ur pee
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
