I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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