There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
