I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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